Day 67

Today is day #67 of our journey - starting with our time in Haiti.  Over the time we’ve been here our sense have come to adapt to the way of life here.

Sound - The first night I refused to wear earplugs as I did not want to sleep through our alarm (signaling breakfast for the next morning, which, coming from our scheduled Canadian life I assumed was only at one time and all must attend at 6:00).  That night was the loudest night I have ever witnessed in all my life.  The city that truly does not sleep….between the dogfights, roosters, horns and people, it was a sleepless night for me as well.  After that I thought, if there was one thing you could bring to Haiti, it would be earplugs… something I vowed to never sleep without.  Within a couple weeks I was sleeping without them.

Living at a school, and on the same grounds as a church brings with themselves noise as well.  From the children at 6:15am to the choir practices and prayer meetings at 10pm, there is noise.  When we leave the compound we are braced with the constant honking from every vehicle on the road.  The time when true peace comes is with the rain, causing the city to quiet.

Smell - The smells of  Haiti are something else… from the smoke and fumes of the burning garbage, to the exhaust coming from the vehicles past their time of expiry, and the rotting garbage in the stagnant water.  The first time we passed the garbage filled brown river of Cite Soleil I had to hold my breathe due to the stench.  Now I hardly notice the smell, if at all.  Our first hour long outing through the city left me grumpy because of all the fumes I had to breath in.  The last trip we went on I don’t recall the exhaust.  (Which is not the best sense to lose as my brain cells are dying with every breath!).

Sight - On first arrival to our new home, I could not look past the garbage, and the pigs, goats, dogs, roosters, cows...they are everywhere.  Now these things are are common as seeing a tree back home.  The guarding guns of the UN stand at large intersections, and innocence of nudity is present; yet we have grown accustomed to these as well.

Taste - As you all know we are very much used to our routine of eating rice and beans for lunch and supper (although frequently I rebel against lunch).  The first couple weeks, in our ignorance we would ask, “What’s for supper?”  I think it only took a couple weeks to realize…

When we are presented with a new food… usually not really a “food” but something else to eat, we cannot help ourselves but gorge.  It as though we are in survivor mode, and every chocolate could be our last!  We need to get rid of this mentality before Christmas if we want to keep our same wardrobe…

Touch - I have grown accustomed to the small hand of a child grabbing my hand or stroking my hair as I walk by; this is something I know I will miss dearly when we leave.  It makes me sad to think that this will be gone….

Things I might like to do back at home in December...

1) Download a video and watch it simultaneously without interruption.  

2) Wash some clothes in a washing machine. 

3) Go to a store and receive correct change.

4) Take a hot shower (probably because it'll be cold!) 

5) Eat some snow, why not?

6) Drive past the amazing Christmas light display on 97 street and 144 avenue. 

7) Stay up til 3 or 4 playing cards, who's up for it?!

8) Go to a movie.  

9) Drive a car!

10) Think about eating at Arby's, but then deciding against it.

Things I'll leave behind in Haiti...

1) A legion of children who call me Teacher Jeremy.  The name still cracks me up, especially when said with a Haitian accent.

2) A cell phone that's better than my model back home, weird.

3) LIzards in my room.  Some spiders.  A few ants when there's food out.  No more bed bugs though.

4) Beautiful consistent sunrises and the ease of waking up to its warm glow. 

5) The habit of correcting people's broken English.  Unless you want me to critique you :)

6) Bad internet, that forces me to read and look introspectively into myself and my surroundings.

7) Dogs, roosters, bumpy roads, tap-taps, air pollution, palm trees, mountain views, one room abode

8) Meals with our ever changing community of people.  Met some lovely Americans down here!

9) More than I have missed back home so far, no offense, you know what I mean. 

10) My best buddy here, Jean Gaudy.  I must bring him to visit some day, you would love him too.  When someone laughs his guts out because he just spelled the words ART, RAT and TAR with only 3 Scrabble word tiles, you know you've met a gem.  

A quote I read today.  Maybe it fits, maybe not, but I like it.  

Spirituality is about seeing.  It's not about earning or achieving.  It's about relationship rather than results or requirements.  Once you see, the rest follows.  You don't need to push the river, because you are in it.  The life is lived within us, and we learn how to say yes to that life. 

-from Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr

I'll post this when the power comes on...

As some of you are aware, things don’t always run smoothly down here.  Well, smoothly in terms of the modern conveniences of home that never seem to malfunction for more than a couple hours, maybe a year at a time.  Our ritualistic power outages are an annoyance but I daresay too that we are getting used to them, although we do miss chatting with our family on Skype!  

And bugs aren’t supposed to live in such close proximity to humans all the time are they?  I’ve been to countries with much bigger, deadlier and menacing looking bugs, whereas the ones here are small and ever present wherever there’s a grain of sugar or a tasty leg.  The bedbugs really grossed Stacey out, and then for some reason there were ants in her sheets last night.  No reason, just because I suppose.  Why look at that, even now I am witnessing an ant carry another dead friend up the wall.  What compassionate little creatures.  

Its easy to think of Paul and what he endured, but we’re not even in the same league.  I actually just read about the amount of times he was whipped, stoned, beaten, jailed, shipwrecked, cursed, mocked and who knows what else because of what he tried to do and advance the Gospel. I am not discounting the encouragement we certainly can glean from his life (which many friends have also pointed out as well, thank you!), but I feel that our position is much safer than Paul’s, though God certainly is challenging us in different ways.  I am learning to appreciate these curveballs, they really do make life more interesting.  Nothing at home is that tough to deal with, well the weather maybe!  

There are so many things out of our control down here, yet they are in God’s control and He is merely observing how we will deal with it.  I’m still not sleeping well, but I have found that this is God’s way of gently asking me: “Will you still get up and spend time with me at dawn?”  Our room has more visitors than we invited sometimes and we bristle when God prompts: “Would you really let bugs ruin your whole mission experience?  Maybe even prohibit you from ever going somewhere else?”  

I do not speak for Stacey fresh after a particularly buggy night (and who can blame the poor girl!) but most of our problems so far are petty in light of the big picture.  What I relish is persevering to hear God’s voice, which yes, is hard when you are uncomfortable and grouchy but do I hear it any better in a modern society?  Our preferential treatment as first world citizens cancels out a world of difficulties that we would candidly say “no thank you” too, much less embrace them as a growing experience.  

All this to say, I’m not tooting my own horn and exclaiming “ra-ra look at me living in squalor and eating gruel” because as I mentioned it is not that bad.  Cultural differences are much harder than the ants and the spotty electricity anyways.  For Stacey and I though, because I can only speak for ourselves (Can I Stacey?) this is a valuable and wild experience.  We were obviously not seeking a cakewalk, nor did God desire to set us up for a disaster such as that either.  If He had to isolate us far away from our country, our family, our friends and our washing machine so we would sit and quietly listen to Him, then the cost cannot be counted.  As we listen, things will become clearer, even if at times we have to see them in the dark :)

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving weekend lies heavy in our hearts: the familiar traditions of Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends, followed by pumpkin pie, a chilly evening, and falling yellow leaves....only now a longing memory.
Although the festivities are not present where we are,  I look around and feel an undeniable sense of thankfulness.  While not everyone agrees, Canada has a good government - free from corruption (in the scheme of things), and one that attempts to do good for the country; there is not fear of government killings.  We pay taxes, though with much complaint, they offer us free healthcare, free schooling, paved roads, garbage disposal, and proper sewage....thank God for taxes, truly!
I know this is not true for all Canadians, but I am thankful that I grew up having 3 meals a day, with desert and snacks in between.  I have never had to know the feeling of hunger pains, as some of the children here know all too well.  I grew up in a loving family, free from abuse; while domestic violence runs high here and throughout the world.   The closest I've come to infection and disease is the flu and chickenpox..... while I am frequently treating scabies, ringworm, and other bacterial and fungal infections.
I am grateful that as a child I did have to hide while gangs shoot in the streets "for pleasure"; that I don't fear of being "cursed" by Voodoo practices; that people have opportunity for employment; that my parents took the time to take me to the Dr; that I didn't have to walk in streets, sometimes bare foot, containing animal feces and garbage; that I did not have to search out clean drinking water; that I grew up with my own bedroom with a bed; that the only time power would go out was during a storm or when a fuse blew......
There are so many luxuries that I have grown accustomed to, while the majority of the world goes without them.  I am so thankful that I was born in Canada, as only God has this control.  We, as Canadians, are truly blessed.

Uncomfortable Comfort

Stacey and I have been trying to rise very early in the morning and spend devotional time while the sun is just rising.  Stacey also stretches and works out, I'm not that spiritual though.  I have been able to journal for almost 2 months now, a personal record!  That's my excuse for not blogging enough.  Instead of creating an entirely new blog, I just thought I'd share some thoughts from a few days ago, amidst one of my most sleepless stretches in memory.

1 Thessalonians 1:2-10 (bits and pieces) "For we know, brothers loved by God, that He has chosen you, because our Gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction.  You know how he lived among you for your sake."

This passage was really encouraging to me, especially after another sleepless night, full of questions, wonderings, noise and itchiness.  We're here in Haiti, but why are we here?  Feeling tired of beans and rice (or rice and beans), loud music at inopportune times, sometimes the people we work with that don't share our Canadian way of doing things.  And bugs.  The initial settling in process is over and the fairytale of short-term missions leaves after 6 weeks I'd say.  Its no longer a carefree, sometimes cushy environment.  Sometimes it feels downright uncomfortable!

For myself, I've always testified that I can make it through one sleepless night, as long as I have a chance to make it up the next.  And to my knowledge, I think this has always happened, just like I plan.  Well, its been a flat-out tough stretch for me in regards to sleep, much more than just 1 bad night at a time.  It makes me question WHY a lot more when these problems arise.  Why would we leave modern appliances or grocery stores?  Or sleep on two twin beds, neither of which we are the first to slumber in? Why are you allowed to make noise all night long and keep me awake?

I could go on and probably sound very ungrateful and confused as to what we're really doing while serving here.  But the truth is I'm happy, even in the midst of this sudden bout of insomnia.  God has miraculously given my soul and body complete rest, even though I swear I didn't sleep a wink a few nights.  I've had the energy to teach all day.  I don't need to sneak in a nap.  I can't go to bed because I'd rather read.

I would be miserable if I was home right now.  Not only because that would mean I forsook a great opportunity to go and serve abroad but it would've been a blatant disregard of the Holy Spirit's prompting in our lives, something we've tried to listen closely to in terms of missions.  If we hadn't have left I'm sure we would have paid dearly for it.  I'm fully understanding that God opens up opportunities and its our choice whether we take Him up on the offer.

It appears that some will give up a lot and some will give up a little, but when God gives you a choice and you obey, you've given all that He has asked of you.  Somedays, it feels like it's been a real sacrifice, but its just what we've been created to do.  We've been equipped to handle all that we've encountered and it gives us great hope to continue the good week we've started.  We're right where God called us to be, a place He mapped out for us long, long ago, and because He's called us, its extremely comforting, despite what we may deem from time to time as uncomfortable.